Relationships and Being an Artist
How to balance your love life, professional connections, family, friends, WITH your obsession (your art)
An article by Andrew Kaminski
Hands, Brain, Heart, color pencil on paper, by Andrew Kaminski
"What are we going to do about Bravo and the cats?" Sandra asked.
We're going to Hawaii in a week (on Friday). I'm staring at the recycling bin that I'm painting a jaguar on, my paints are placed on the same table we eat dinner at.
"What about your Aunt Patricia?"
I'm writing this blog to keep a peace of mind, and Bravo, our dog is going to be chomping and asking to go out in a bit. I will continue this article when we get back from our daily ritual.
There's so much to balance.
There are politics in all of this. Relationships have politics as soon as there are more than two people involved. There is a vying for power and control in certain ways.
And then there's a spiritual component. The spirit of Jesus Christ - that forgiving, all-encompassing, almost juicy love that exists and has existed for over two thousand and twenty some odd years.
We just watched The Other Boleyn Sister, with Natalie Portman, and it detailed the lives of political scandals when Great Britain split with the Roman Catholic Church because the King sought the love affair with Anne Boleyn.
Many know the story. I guess I've been uncultured, and never knew until I watched the movie. A major point that I took away was that relationships hold so much power in certain circles.
I'm curious how we can work with our relationships to position ourselves to live in the most deeply satisfying way possible.
Our relationships can lead us to freedom if we work within their limitations and potentialities for the highest liberation we can attain.
Certain people play a specific role in our life. Certain family members play an unavoidable role. Some people play the strong one. Some play the smart one. Some play that mischievous one. And so on.
What if one family members wants to be the creative one... but what if the "creative one" isn't a designated role in your family, or in your community, or what have you..?
How do you embody your creative self within the constellations you find yourself in?
Are people expecting you to play a role? A role that energetically, was assigned to you even before you were born?
The question usually comes back to this: How do you free yourself?
What if you are assigned a role you didn't want to play?
How do you break free? How do you position yourself so you can embody your artwork and your mental liberation.
We want to be free from the mind and the family roles, don't we? We also don't want to be assigned within our society a role that is given to us without our consent.
Don't we want total ownership. Total embodiment of every moment of our life? Don't we want to exert a total consciousness and total awareness over every aspect of our life?
Maybe this means to surrender at times? Life can be a push and a pull, yes? Sometimes you have to receive what life is asking you to receive, and sometimes you must use your internal force to direct the pathway of your life.
All along the way, you are in some sort of position, aren't you?
How do you make art through and through?
How do you allow your creative self to blossom no matter what?
You must set boundaries.
Boundaries are the number one ingredient arguably that will allow you to create the art you wish to create, and have the social exchanges you wish to have within your relationships.
I urge you to explore what your boundaries are.
What is your line that must not be crossed?
How can you use your boundaries to thrive in your relationships?
How can you use your knowledge and application of boundaries to embody the greatest creative spirit that you can possible hold? Perhaps you need to build up to the point where you can full embody your creative spirit.
And of course, boundaries come down a lot to saying, "no".
"No" is extremely powerful. If you can hold "no" in your vocabulary, you can choose what you wish to channel your energy into. If you say "yes" to a request, or to a contract, you are bound to stay true to it.
However, if you say, "NO," when someone asks you to do something, sure, they may not waste their time asking you to do similar tasks in the future. But, you will keep your time open. You will protect your availability. You will protect your options. You will not submit to a promise which can tarnish your soul. You don't want to ghost people and say "yes", and not show up. You aren't building your integrity in that pattern of behavior.
However, if you say "no", you keep your integrity in tact, and you keep your options available for the time you rejected someone.
When it comes to to saying "no" to requests in your relationships, you must! You must in order to make art. Because when you reject spending time with one person, you open an opportunity and an option to attend to your artwork, which is what you truly want to do.